Box Weapon Society
by Tsunayoshi Uni Sawada
Summary: Summary: Box weapons are intelligent, and they have their own secret society where they communicate among themselves in their own little box weapon world away from their masters and mistresses. ON HIATUS.
1. Fashion, Romance and Crotches

Chapter 1 - Fashion, Romance and Crotches

**Summary: Box weapons are intelligent, and they have their own secret society where they communicate among themselves in their own little box weapon world away from their masters and mistresses.**

**Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me! If it did, a lot of questions would be answered…**

**A/N: I realized that there's very little box weapon fics out there. In fact, box weapons hardly get any attention and are usually used in non-box-weapon-based fics as stand-up comics, props or background characters. It's just sad. So I thought about writing a fic that looks at the world from the box-weapon point of view. I mean, since box-weapons aren't human, they wouldn't look at human issues the way we look at them, right? So I thought about that and it produced rather amusing results. (Btw, for those of you who don't know, the original publication of this story is in my other fic "KHR: Have You Noticed?")**

**So, this is their story.**

"So, what are the matters for today?" Uri purred, stretching himself on the floor.

"Today's matters are… fashion, romance and… well I think that's about it." Kojiro chirped.

"What's fashion?" Jiro barked, wagging his tail ecstatically. "Is it something to eat?"

"Meow. Are you an idiot? Fashion is something to drink." Uri yawned.

"To drink? Are you sure?" Natsu said skeptically.

"Meow." Uri replied menacingly, sharpening his claws on the floor.

Natsu gulped and shuffled back, his flaming mane diminishing a little.

"Kojiro, what's fashion? Jiro yapped, pawing at his fellow box weapon.

"I think it's got something to do with what humans wear." Kojiro said seriously, flapping his wings.

"You mean those silly outer skins that humans wear?" Uri said scornfully.

"Yes. Come to think of it, why do humans need to wear outer skins? We don't need outer skins, why do they?" Natsu asked.

"It's what humans do, I guess." Jiro said, flying around in circles.

"Silly humans." Uri flicked his tail in annoyance. "Big pinkos who lumber around, getting in my way."

"What's next?" Mukurou finally spoke up.

"Romance, I suppose." Kojiro pecked at Garyuu.

"What's romance to the extreme?" Garyuu, having inherited Ryohei's catchphrase, was quoting him now.

"Now you're copying your master." Uri spat in disgust. "Have some originality, will you?"

"My master and I are close buddies to the extreme!" Garyuu replied, hefting a punch at Uri, who dodged nimbly.

"Now, now, settle down. So, what is romance?" Kojiro tweeted (I'm not talking about Twitter).

"I think it's got something to do with what humans do when they eat each other's faces." Mukurou said.

"You mean when they move their mouths all over each other and drool and everything?" Jiro cocked his head to one side.

"I think it's called _kissing_." Kojiro said thoughtfully.

"Oh, screw you." Uri grumbled.

"But what exactly _is_ romance?" Natsu insisted on knowing.

"I'm not too sure." The rest said in unison.

"Maybe it's something to eat!" Jiro barked, his tail wagging in a blur in excitement.

"Well, since we aren't getting any further, let's close up this meeting, shall we? Any questions?" Kojiro prepared to leave.

"I do." Natsu waved a paw. "What's a crotch?"

There was a silence.

"I think it's something important to male humans." Kojiro said slowly.

'But what could it possibly be?" Garyuu folded his arms in confusion.

"Where did you hear this from, Natsu?" Mukurou asked.

"I heard the little human in the funny hat with the chameleon say that to my master the other day."

"Well…" There was another silence as the mystery of the crotch was being contemplated.

Then, the silence was broken by Jiro.

"So, do you think it's safe to eat?" he barked.

**A/N: All those who loved the last part review!**


	2. Food and School

Chapter 2 - Food and School

**Summary: Box weapons are intelligent, and they have their own secret society where they communicate among themselves in their own little box weapon world away from their masters and mistresses.**

**Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me! If it did, a lot of questions would be answered…**

**A/N: I typed this out while listening to the piano version of K-ON!'s 'Fudepen ~Ballpen~' It's so awesome~ Oh, and this chapter can also be found in my other fic "KHR: Have You Noticed?". This chapter onwards 'Box Weapon Society' will no longer appear in that fic.**

"Order! Order! Order in the meeting!" Kojiro called out.

"I'd like to order a nice big juicy bone!" Jiro barked loudly and happily, completely clueless as to what Kojiro had actually meant.

"Then I'll have a cookie!" Natsu said cheerfully, also as clueless as Jiro.

"Meow. A large salmon, if you please." Uri swished his tail elegantly, knowing that Kojiro had meant something else entirely, but decided to annoy him on purpose.

"I'd like a mouse, cooked medium rare." Mukurou hooted. Nobody was sure if he was doing this on purpose.

"Moo. Some grass, maybe a few dandelions." Beef Bowl shook his head and snorted.

"I don't need food at the moment to the EXTREME!" Garyuu raised his hands skywards.

"Gupiiiii! Some nice, fat slugs please!" Roll rolled around ecstatically. (Hedgehogs eat slugs.)

"Guys… when I said 'order', I meant I'd like to have some discipline in here…" Kojiro facewinged himself. (Get it? Facepalm, facewing?)

"Oops, sorry!" Jiro barked sheepishly. "So, what are we doing here again?"

"The meeting, stupid. THE MEETING, YOU DAMN JOLLY HEAD." Uri was also facepawing himself.

"Kojiro, what's a jolly head?" Jiro asked innocently.

"Erm…" Kojiro decided not to answer for the sake of Jiro's mentality. "Um! Moving on! Today's matters are food, and…"

"Food! Food! Are we having food now?" Jiro barked, almost crazy in his happiness.

"No, Jiro, I meant we're TALKING about it, not eating it."

"Oh." Jiro's bottom slumped in disappointment. Even his ears lost their perkiness.

"…Food, and school." Kojiro concluded, ruffling his feathers importantly.

"What about food?" Beef Bowl waved his horns.

"Well, as we all know, the food humans eat taste terribly disgusting to us. And the food is usually unnecessarily coloured and dressed up too." Kojiro frowned slightly.

"Yeah, yeah!" Jiro barked. "I can't see why our master likes eating that white, watery stuff he calls _milk_! And he's always eating those colourful pieces of raw fish! (Read: sashimi) I don't see what's so tasty about those things!"

"Excuse me?' Uri's back was arched and the fur on it was bristling. "What's wrong with raw fish and milk?"

Jiro's face lost its usual happy expression as he suddenly remembered that raw fish and milk were just exactly what Uri's diet consisted of.

"Now, now, settle down." Kojiro flapped his wings anxiously.

"Gupii. Human food is…" Roll began.

"Yucky." Natsu waggled his flaming mane.

"Terrible." Jiro scratched his ear.

"Puke-tastic." Uri meowed sarcastically.

"Unnecessarily dressed up." Kojiro sighed.

"Much too colourful." Mukurou hooted.

"Disgusting to the extreme!" Garyuu jumped on the spot.

"Excuse me, but I'm named after a human food, you know." Beef Bowl looked askance.

Cue silence where a cricket could be heard in the background.

"Moving on." Kojiro chirped loudly. "Next matter is… school! Does anyone know what exactly it is?"

"Seems to me that school just consists of humans going in it, wasting time by sitting in little wooden structures (Read: chairs and desks), listening to humans who are older than them (Read: teachers) and then going out of it again." Uri tossed his head and wiggled his tail.

"Gupii? Is that what school really is? My master usually just sits on the rooftop and then beats up any humans who disturb him. Isn't that what school is about?" Roll looked as astonished as a hedgehog could look.

"Roll. Your master is a psychopath." The rest said in unison.

"Gupiiiiiii…" Roll shrank back a little from the stern gazes.

"So, what IS school?" hooted Mukurou, determined to get the subject back on track.

"I think it's a place where my master always gets beaten up." Natsu gao'd.

"It's a place where those big silly pinkos gather and waste their time." Uri purred and began cleaning himself.

"It's a place where our master has fun!" Kojiro and Jiro said in unison, united in their opinion of Yamamoto.

"It's where my master can EXTREMELY be himself!" Garyuu began demonstrating a couple of boxing moves.

"Well, my master doesn't go to school yet, so I'm not sure." Beef Bowl started polishing his horns.

"I think it's a place where my master beats people up." Roll said seriously.

"My mistress doesn't go to school much either, so I'm not sure." Mukurou preened.

"So… the conclusion is, 'school' is where you get beaten up, gather with other humans, have fun, be yourself and be able to beat other people up too." Kojiro twittered.

"That sounds about right." The rest chorused.

"Or not." When they suddenly realized how contradictory Kojiro's statement sounded.

"How can you get beaten up AND beat other people up at the same time?" Natsu demanded.

"It does sound strange." Kojiro said uncertainly. "Well… we're not getting any further so let's break up. Any questions?"

The rest shook their heads.

"Good. Then… dismissed!"

"Kojiro?" A small voice suddenly rang out.

"Yes, Natsu?"

"Do you think it's normal for the little human in the funny hat with the chameleon to be peeping at my master when my master's naked?"

"…Let's discuss that at the next meeting, Natsu."

**A/N: To quote one of my reviewers: "REBORN YOU PERV!"**

**Reviews please!**


	3. Peeping and Yaoi

Chapter 3 - Peeping and Yaoi

**Summary: Box weapons are intelligent, and they have their own secret society where they communicate among themselves in their own little box weapon world away from their masters and mistresses.**

**Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me! If it did, a lot of questions would be answered…**

**A/N: I think I may have killed off this story a bit. This chapter's a bit boring.**

"This meeting will now come to order!" Kojiro called out, rapping a claw on the ground.

"What are today's matters?" Beef Bowl snorted, with a wave of his horns.

"Today's matters are… well, last meeting, Natsu raised a question." Kojiro replied.

"Natsu?" Uri yowled. "What question did he ask?"

"I wanted to know why the little human in the funny hat keeps peeping at my master when he's in the bath." Natsu squeaked, aware of Uri's dangerous gaze on him.

"Maybe it's something humans do?" Roll gupii'd.

"I've heard of stuff like this." Mukurou hooted thoughtfully. "I think it's called _yaoi_."

"Yaoi?" Natsu was shocked. He could practically feel lightning bolts crackling around his head.

"Yes, yaoi." Mukurou confirmed. "From what I've heard, it's when 2 humans start a romantic relationship with each other.

A silence greeted this statement.

"Is that… _normal_ for humans?" Roll asked uncertainly.

At this point, Jiro came trotting in.

"Hi guys!" he barked. "Sorry I'm late!" He wagged his tail. "What are we talking about now?"

"We're talking about yaoi, Jiro."

"Yaoi?" Jiro yapped. "Is it good to eat?"

"NO." The rest rolled their eyes.

"Yaoi is when 2 males humans start an initimate relationship with each other." Kojiro waved a wing.

"So… is it normal for humans?" Jiro cocked an ear up.

It must be." Mukurou clicked his beak twice. "My mistress often reads up about it."

"Then… my master and the little human in the funny hat with the chameleon are involved in this… _yaoi_?"

"It must be." Kojiro concluded impressively. "So, this issue is settled. We have worked out that yaoi is…"

"Something my master does." Natsu shuffled his paws.

"Something I don't care about." Uri began washing himself.

"Something EXTREME!" Garyuu shouted, finally speaking.

"Something delicious! It sounds juicy and soft!" Jiro, having not listened to the conversation at all, barked out.

"I agree with Jiro! It sounds juicy and soft and tender!" Roll also hadn't listened properly.

"This conversation is getting a bit weird. Can we go now, Kojiro?" Beef Bowl asked.

"Alright. Meeting dismissed!" Kojiro called out.

"You think I should try finding some yaoi to eat?" Jiro's voice rang out as he left.

"Great idea! If you find some, call me too! I wanna see how tasty it is!" Roll's nose twitched in excitement.

"But you know, it may be sticky too." Jiro added solemnly.

"All the better! It sounds yummy!" Roll squealed.

Cue facepalm from Natsu, Kojiro, Uri, Beef Bowl, Mukurou and Garyuu.

**A/N: Hm…**

**Reviews please…**


	4. Handsomeness and the Alphabet

Chapter 4 – Handsomeness and the Alphabet

**Summary: Box weapons are intelligent, Box weapons are intelligent, and they have their own secret society where they communicate among themselves in their own little box weapon world away from their masters and mistresses.**

**Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me! If it did, a lot of questions would be answered…**

**A/N: Get ready for more cute box weapon love! (or box animal love to be accurate…) Also… introducing Alphin the dolphin! New character desu! (Alphin is Basil's box animal remember?) Oh… btw guys. I'm doing a little story advertising desu yo. :3 I would greatly appreciate it if you guys read the following fanfiction:**

**'A Royal Card Game' by Cavallo Alato**

**I'll give you cookies if you read that. Please help that author out.**

Nuts pouted. "I'm more handsome than you are!"

"No, I am!" Roll squeaked.

"Will the both of you shut up? It's obvious I'm the handsomest one here." Uri snapped.

"Look, on the scale of 1-100, you guys all rank below 60." Beef Bowl magically taking out a whiteboard and writing the 'handsome-ness' scale on it, even though he had only hooves and not hands to write with. "Nuts, you're a 27, Uri, you're a 59 and Roll's only an 18. Mind you, Uri, your 'handsome-ness' is a point below the decent-looking range." Beef Bowl said, marking out their respective handsome-ness points on the board.

"Oh yes?" Uri said mockingly. "At least I have points. YOU don't even have one point." Uri marked out Beef Bowl's handsome-ness on the board by writing 'BEEF BOWL' on top of the '0'.

"Hey!" Beef Bowl grunted. "That's not fair!"

"All right, all right, settle down." Kojiro appeared by them, with Mukurou and Jiro behind.

Nuts and Roll rushed at Kojiro, wailing "Kojiro! Beef Bowl gave us a 27 and 18 on our 'handsome-ness' score!"

"Uh…" Kojiro held up his talons to fend them off.

"Oh! In that case, what's my handsome-ness score then?" Jiro barked happily.

"Jiro, Kojiro, both of you guys scored 80." Beef Bowl marked out the scores.

"I spend more time cleaning myself up than any of you!" Uri yowled.

"That means Kojiro and I scored the highest then!" Jiro exclaimed, completely oblivious to the atmosphere.

"Actually, Jiro, if Mukurou had worked a little harder, he could've scored a 96." Said Beef Bowl.

"Hold it, hold it! Why're we even discussing this anyway?" Kojiro flapped his wings mightily.

"Erm… well… we were wondering who the best-looking box animal was, so…" Roll trailed off.

"I still say I'm the handsomest." Uri insisted.

"By the way, what is handsome-ness?" Nuts cocked his head to one side.

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS?" The rest yelped.

"It's official." Uri facepawed (facepalm, facepaw) himself. "You're an even bigger idiot than Jiro."

"Uri, what's an idiot?" Jiro asked. "Is it nice to eat?"

"…I stand corrected." Uri shook his head.

"Idiots aren't something to eat, Jiro." Kojiro said gently.

"Are they good to lick then?" Jiro asked hopefully.

"…" silence from the rest.

"Erm… moving on! Today we have 2 matters to handle! One is that we're introducing a new member! Everyone, please welcome Alphin the dolphin! (Basil's box animal)" Kojiro chirped loudly.

A dolphin glided in, squeaking loudly "It's nice to meet you all!"

"OMG IT'S A KILLER WHALE!" Nuts and Roll squealed. "SO COOL!"

"Are killer whales good to eat?" Jiro demanded.

"Why do we need a freaking dolphin? We already have enough idiots here." Uri rolled his eyes.

"Since when can dolphins fly?" Beef Bowl eyed the floating dolphin curiously.

"It's very nice to meet you, Alphin." Mukurou said finally, the only one to give a normal response.

"Erm… Nuts-dono… Roll-dono… I'm not a killer whale…" Alphin looked extremely confused.

"Just then. Garyuu came jumping in, saying "GREETINGS TO THE EXTREME!"

"Good day, Garyuu-dono." The dolphin somehow managed to bow in mid-air.

"WHO ARE YOU TO THE EXTREME?" Garyuu shouted, even more extreme than usual.

"This Alphin, our newest member, Garyuu…" Kojiro trailed off.

"IT IS EXTREMELY NICE TO MEET YOU, GARPHIN!" Garyuu shouted.

"It's Alphin…"

"SORRY TO THE EXTREME, BALLPHIN!" It was possible that Garyuu's shouting made him mishear Alphin.

"It's nice to meet you, 'Ballphin'." Uri smirked.

"Erm…" 'Ballphin' was at loss for words.

"Ok, the second matter for today… is the alphabet!" Kojiro announced importantly.

"…what in the name of _tuna_ is the alphabet?" Uri raised a claw.

"It's something humans learn." Kojiro said seriously. "I think they sing it in a song…"

"Oooh, oooh!" Roll twitched his nose. "I think it goes something like um… X,E,H,I… erm… now I know my ABC! Next time won't you sing with me! I think…"

"So like… the alphabet starts with X?" Beef Bowl stared at Roll.

"I thought it started with H?"

"Nono, it starts with C!"

"Doesn't it start with N?"

"Wait wait! I think the alphabet is some kind of code the humans use!" Nuts waved a paw.

"What code?" Kojiro questioned.

"I think it's a code for when humans talk about erm… uh… I have no idea actually." Nuts admitted.

"So… in the end, we don't know what the alphabet is?" Kojiro raised his beak. "So… in conclusion, the alphabet is… erm…"

"It's a human code! Of… of something!" Nuts said importantly.

"It's a load of bullshit." Uri said calmly.

"What's an alphabet?" Roll asked, who clearly hadn't been listening.

"There's something called the alphabet?" Jiro had been spaving out for the past 5 minutes.

"Huh?"

"Just ignore it…" Mukurou drifted off.

"Erm… " Alphin was still struggling to recover from the whole 'Ballphin' thing.

Then Garyuu, who had not been paying attention at all, suddenly shouted randomly:

"HEY HEY HEY! BALLPHIN! YOUR NAME IS EXTREMELY COOL! IT'S SERIOUSLY VERY REALLY AWESOME TO THE EXTREME!"

Alphin snapped.

"MY NAME'S NOT BALLPHIN DAMMIT!"

**A/N: This chapter isn't really funny at all. ): Why is that?**

**Reviews please.**


	5. Hiatus Message

Hey guys.

I'm sorry, but after entering my third year of secondary school (middle school to some of you) suddenly the schedule is tightened up. I have afternoon classes everyday and I still have homework and other school-related crap. Add that to some other things...

This means that I'll be going on an author-hiatus for quite a while. I have no idea when I'll start uploading stories again (even if I do, it'll probably be a short one-shot or a drabble.) and yes, this means I'll be inactive until further notice.

Sincerest apologies to all my dear reviewers out there who have supported me so faithfully. An especially big sorry to those who have sent me requests. I won't be able to fulfill them for the time being. Sorry, guys. ):

Hope to be able to start writing again. You are welcome to troll me if you wish. I fully realise that I kind of deserve it. (Hope my FF author friend Bunnygoesbang can also use the comp soon. She's extremely upset over the sudden computer constraint. Everytime I mention 'computer' to her she gives me a look...)

-Tsunayoshi Uni Sawada (TUS)


	6. Homework and Facebook

Chapter 5 – Homework and Facebook

**Summary: Box weapons are intelligent, and they have their own secret society where they communicate among themselves in their own little box weapon world away from their masters and mistresses.**

**Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me! If it did, a lot of questions would be answered…**

**A/N: I last updated about 6 months ago… And to everybody who supported me about my dumb sec 3 stuff, thanks a lot! Ok, um… responses to my reviewers… By the way, I will be using Nuts, not Natsu. Nuts is the proper name, Natsu is just the unofficial romanji. EDIT: THERE'S BEEN A BIT OF AN ERROR... SO THIS CHAPTER IS JUST AN EDITED VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL CHAPTER.**

**CloudieSky27: Thank you! I'm so glad someone found this funny. I was worried that I was killing off this story.**

**saruko: You should pity poor Alphin. His name got turned into Ballphin~!**

**ezcap1st: Indeed, my friend. Indeed.**

**LoveDust: Lol! Ball pen! *epically Imagines Alphin transforming into a ball pen* O_e… my head…**

**CloudyDays12: As always, thank you for constantly supporting me! Thanks for your wonderful advice… (WHAT! YOU HAVE ALL 37 VOLUMES AND NOVELS?! I'M SOOOOOOO JEALOUS!) But hey, feel free to send me ideas, 'cos I'm running out of brain juice T_T… Thanks for waiting for me, though! And lol, don't worry. You don't sound like a parent. I totally understand what you're trying to say. (Btw, have you bought volume 40 yet? The cover is soooo cool! Volume 39's cover is friggin' cool as well.)**

**Poppycock: …interesting name you got there. Thanks, though. I'll try my best to hang on.**

**Wendy Sawada: Ah, sec 1… Actually sec 1 is pretty lax… I'm doing 'O' level… I'm from Bowen Secondary School.**

**Crimefire: Jiro is sooo kawaii! I totally agree! Thanks! Lol the animals' personalities… I love them too.**

**UnknownAlicex3: Thank you so much~ I'm glad someone appreciates this fic's originality. I just thought that the poor little box animals get hardly any attention, so I thought I'd write a fic centered around them (I'm surprised that no one else is doing this. I wonder why? Probably 'cos the hot guys of KHR are much more interesting to write about I guess…) I feel your pain, fellow sec 3! Errr… wait, you should be promoted to sec 4 by now…**

**Swanfrost15: THANK YOU! But this fic isn't supposed to be crack…**

**PrincipessaBel: Glad that I can make you laugh. Thank you~! I will try my best to keep up my work!**

"Silence! Silence! Silence in the meeting!" Kojiro banged the mallet on the table. Wait, how did he do that? He has no hands.

Nuts and Roll fell silent immediately, and Jiro chewed on a bone.

"Today we will be settling the matter of what exactly this… this thing called 'homework' is." Kojiro said importantly. "Alphin! Hand me those papers!" He waved a wing at a stack of papers piled up at the side.

Alphin, Kojiro's newly appointed assistant, used his snout to push the papers towards Kojiro.

Kojiro ruffled his feathers and used his beak to pick up one of the papers to show it to the rest.

"These papers were taken from Nuts's master's bedroom! Nuts took his master's homework and brought it here to show us. But…" Kojiro scratched the floor thoughtfully. "This thing called 'homework'. Does anybody know what's the use of it?"

"Homework," Uri announced. "Is absolutely pointless. MY master never does it. He just chucks it into the rubbish bin. That's probably the only thing I respect about him."

"If it's pointless, why do humans still have so much homework?" Kojiro frowned, and Alphin and Mukurou looked solemn.

"Because they have no life." Uri meowed, before curling up to sleep.

"So… if homework is pointless, why did humans invent it?" Beef Bowl spoke up. Since his master still didn't go to school, he didn't quite understand what 'homework' was.

"My master says homework was invented for weak herbivores who have to rely on their school grades. He says he doesn't need to do homework because he is strong." Roll said cheerfully, his eyes sparkling in admiration for his beloved master.

"Roll. We repeat. Your master is a psychopath." The rest facepawed/facewinged/facehoofed/faceflippered (box animal versions of facepalm)

"So… if homework is pointless, does that mean we can do whatever we want to it, to the extreme?" Garyuu demanded.

Beef Bowl scraped his horns on the ground. "If that's the case, let's just eat it. It looks pretty tasty."

"You said it, Beef Bowl! Time to chow down!" Jiro said happily, his jaws reaching towards the papers.

Kojiro nodded. "So. In conclusion, homework is…"

"Absolutely pointless." Uri yawned.

"Good to eat! I've eaten my master's homework before!" Jiro barked, pieces of homework fluttering down from his teeth.

* * *

><p>Somewhere in the human world, Yamamoto stared at his homework which had big holes chewed out of it.<p>

* * *

><p>Alphin moved his flippers in a circular motion, which was the dolphin equivalent of a shrug.<p>

"Okay, next on the agenda is… this thing called Facebook." Kojiro said importantly. "Does anybody know what it is?"

"I do." Mukurou said suddenly, shocking everyone. Mukurou knew what Facebook was? How could this be? He's an owl!

"S-So, um… what is it then?" Beef Bowl asked nervously.

"My mistress has a Facebook account. She uses it whenever she wants to chat with my other master. He sends her messages like "Kufufu… how are you today, my dear Nagi? Are you wearing that sexy gothic lolita dress that I sent you?" and my mistress replies "Yes, Mukuro-sama! It's really revealing though…"

There was a dead silence.

"…Mukurou."

"Yes, Kojiro?"

"Are you aware that your master is a pedophile? And he appears to be hitting on your mistress?"

"…" Mukurou blinked several times. "…Oh dear. I think I need to go."

"Why?" Roll asked, concerned.

"…my mistress just went out to meet my master. And she was wearing this tight indigo party dress that only came down to her thighs."

"…oh damn. Mukurou, go! Go go go!"" Kojiro squawked.

After a couple of minutes, Kojiro said: "Well, I think we had better end this meeting. Mukurou is the only one who knows what Facebook is, and he just left to rescue his mistress and I don't think he'll be back for awhile. We'll discuss what Facebook is at the next meeting."

Everyone nodded.

"By the way, Nuts, does your master know you took his homework?" Kojiro chirped.

"Oh. Um…" Nuts shuffled his paws guiltily.

"Nuts!" Kojiro exclaimed in shock.

* * *

><p>And somewhere in the human world, Tsuna screamed because his homework was missing.<p>

**A/N: …I totally plan on them having this great big discussion about social networking in general in the next meeting.**

**Review, otherwise I'll send Jiro to eat your homework and textbooks and everything (bwahahaha…).**


	7. FINALE: Christmas and Happiness

Chapter 6 – FINALE: Christmas and Happiness

**Summary: Box weapons are intelligent, and they have their own secret society where they communicate among themselves in their own little box weapon world away from their masters and mistresses.**

**Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me! If it did, a lot of questions would be answered…**

**A/N: I edited the previous chapter and added some stuff to it, so please go back and read it. That chapter is entitled 'Homework and Facebook'. Okay, I know I said I wanted this chapter to be about social networking, but decided not to. I thought I'd do a Christmas chapter instead.**

**…ok, I know this is rather sudden, but I want to announce that THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER. IN OTHER WORDS, THIS STORY IS COMPLETE.**

Uri looked suspiciously at the cake.

Alphin smiled as Kojiro announced: "Everyone, this is a log cake."

"…a log cake?" Roll looked confused. "You mean like… a cake that's made out of wood?"

"What? No! It's just a cake that looks like a log!" spluttered Kojiro.

"Oh…"

"Why is this here?" Uri snapped. "We're box animals, we don't eat human food!"

"Uri, don't be a hypocrite. You eat human food too." Beef Bowl deadpanned.

"Just fish! It's normal for cats to eat fish!" retorted Uri.

"As box animals, we're only supposed to eat our master's flames!" Beef Bowl rolled his eyes.

"I command you to shut up!"

"No! You shut up!"

"Enough! Today's topics will be on Christmas!" interrupted Kojiro.

Immediately, Jiro asked "Christmas? Is it good to ea-…"

"NO IT IS NOT GOOD TO EAT." Uri hissed. "Honestly! Is everything about food to you?"

Jiro shrank back on fear.

Uri's just pissed because her master forgot to feed her." Roll whispered.

"Should we give her some yaoi to eat, then?"

(Note: Jiro and Roll are still under the impression that yaoi is a 'soft, sticky, yummy food' to eat.)

Kojiro feigned deafness. "So anyway… Christmas! According to human culture, it is a season where you exchange gifts, gain weight and kiss under dead mistletoe leaves."

"Why would anyone want to kiss under dead leaves?" Mukurou clicked his beak.

"Mukurou, what's kissing?" Nuts asked innocently.

"Nuts, we discussed that a few meetings ago." Mukurou frowned.

"Can you show me what kissing is then?" Nuts widened his eyes.

"…no. Just no."

"Aww!"

"Ahem… well, I've spent Christmas in Italy before. It's really nice. Friends and family meet up to celebrate together. It's fun!" Alphin tried to get back to the topic.

"Do they kiss, to the extreme?"

"Um… well…" Alphin squirmed uncomfortably.

"Alphin? Spit it out." Kojiro trimmed his feathers.

"M-My master got a little drunk last Christmas and he ended up kissing a wall."

"…oh dear."

"Exactly."

"Well, Christmas seems like a stupid thing to me." Uri yowled. "Another useless human idea."

"That's not true! My master says Christmas is a good thing!" Nuts gao'd.

"Well, it isn't." Uri said waspishly.

"C'mon, Uri! Even MY master celebrates Christmas!" Roll squeaked. "And he looks sooo cool in his winter uniform."

"Well then, maybe your master sucks." Uri sneered.

"U-Uri!" Kojiro squawked. "That's way too rude!"

"Sucks to you." Uri replied rudely. Then she ran off.

* * *

><p>Uri stared grouchily at the wall. The truth was, she had never celebrated Christmas before.<p>

She hadn't meant to be so rude to Roll, but she didn't really know how to behave nicely. Not even during Christmas, the season of niceness!

_That's what I get for having a chain-smoking, dynamite-throwing idiot who wears about 5 tons of jewellery for a master._

Suddenly the door slammed open. Gokudera stomped in moodily.

Immediately, Uri crouched down, preparing to pounce. Just before she leapt, a small, prettily wrapped box landed in front of her.

"For you. Early Christmas present." Gokudera scratched his head and reddened.

Uri tore it open. Inside was a tiny black-and-white striped scarf and a little woolen black hat.

"Merry Christmas." The silver-haired teen said gruffly.

Uri blinked.

_Maybe having an idiot master isn't so bad after all._ Uri purred and, for the first time ever, rubbed up against Gokudera's legs.

Behind the door, unknown to Gokudera and Uri, the other box animals watched.

"Awww! Uri's master is so nice!" Nuts whispered.

"Indeed! To the extreme!"

Hehe…" Roll giggled.

"Well, we had better head back to our masters." Kojiro chirped. "The Christmas party at Nuts's master's house will start soon!"

"Yeah! See you there!"

**A/N: So, there you have it. The final chapter of Box Weapon Society.**

**_A letter to my readers_**

**Dear Readers,**

**Hi there. Tsunayoshi Uni Sawada here. I know this is way too sudden, and you're probably wondering why I didn't give you a heads-up in the previous chapter. The truth is, I didn't know that I would be ending the story in this chapter either. But when I was writing this chapter, I suddenly realized that I should end this story because 1. I have way too many on-going stories 2. I was slowly losing enthusiasm for this story 3. I'm going to be even busier next year, so I probably will have even less time. And this story is neglected enough already.**

**I wrote this story because I felt that the box animals were being neglected a lot, and they should have their own story, their own voices, thoughts, and opinions. That's why I decided to create 'Box Weapon Society'. This story is actually based on a very funny story that I read a long time ago – the title is 'Byakuran Society'. It's part of this random multi-chapter fic that I stumbled upon when I was randomly surfing FF. If you guys ever come across it, read it. I guarantee that you will laugh until you cry. (Byakuran wears crotch-high boots, apparently.)**

**I would like to thank my readers for supporting this ordinary little story. Without you guys, I would probably have never made this into a multi-chapter fic. I would have just left this as a one-shot. This story is actually an omake from my other story 'KHR: Have You Noticed?'. (SHAMELESS PLUG) Because of overwhelming support, I made this into an actual fic. It's been a wonderful, amazing journey to write this. (It's my first time finishing a multi-chapter story! Oh my gosh! What a milestone!)**

**Please continue to give the poor neglected box animals more love! They really need it! They're always in the background because the human characters are much more popular. But the box animals deserve their own time to shine as well!**

**So with that, I end this chapter. Until the next story guys!**

**THANK YOU FOR YOUR WONDERFUL SUPPORT!**

**-Tsunayoshi Uni Sawada (TUS)**

**Merry Christmas/ Buon Natale!**

**(19 December 2012)**


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